


We're All Different

by lrhaboggle



Category: The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls - Emilie Autumn
Genre: Bloody Crumpets, Cute, EA, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Funny, Misery Loves Company, One Shot, Performance, Skit, Special, Weird, different, emilie - Freeform, friend, unique, we're all different, write out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 14:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17727212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: It's just another normal day for the most un-normal of girls. Emilie relaxes and drinks tea with her four favorite fellow inmates: Veronica, Maggots, Contessa and Aprella and they all muse about what makes them different... special. (Pure fluff).





	We're All Different

Maggots, hungry and thirsty after a long day of pirate adventures, made her way to the kitchen. A large pot of tea sat upon the counter and her eyes lit up. Ah! Just where she'd left it! Eager, the girl went to pour herself a cup and... nothing.

"What?" Maggots pouted to herself as she tipped the entire pot upside-down. It was bone-dry.

Right at that moment, another asylum girl walked in. It was Contessa, Maggots' wife. Maggots, at once, threw a horrified glance to the taller, older woman and pointed to the empty teapot.

"There's no tea!" she cried. Then she shook it up and down as though to prove her point. Perhaps to some, Maggots' reaction regarding the lack of tea would've been a bit much, but there in the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls, tea was considered to be the pinnacle of luxury for them. Tea was a staple of the girls and of their remade asylum. For there not to be any tea was absolutely horrible! Contessa understood this and grew very serious as she walked over to Maggots' side, inspecting the dry teapot.

"There is only one way to rectify this situation!" she began, sounding mysterious and even a little threatening, but Maggots cut her off.

"GO GET SOME TEA, WOMAN!" she cried, shoving the pot into Contessa's stomach.

"Ooof!" Contessa grunted as she fumbled with the pot, trying not to drop it after Maggots shoved it at her. She cast a rather annoyed glance at the orange-haired woman she called a wife, but she said no more as she left to do that wife's biding. She ran into yet another asylum inmate on the way out. It was Veronica. She had seen the exchange between Contessa and Maggots and as she entered the kitchen as well, she was snickering.

"Alright," Maggots muttered to herself as Contessa left and Veronica arrived. "I'll have to do with some cookies instead," but this was not a bad thing and Maggots' spirits began to rise as she made her way over to the cookie jar. She peeked inside and... nothing.

"NOOOOOO!" Maggots pretended to despair. She whipped around wildly, preparing to warn Veronica about the disastrous and tragic news, but then she noticed something. Veronica was... smiling. And she was licking her lips?

"Veronica, did you eat them?" Maggots whined, pointing back and forth between her fellow inmate and the empty cookie jar.

"No," Veronica replied, that sickly and conniving smile spreading across her face.

"I know you did!" Maggots snapped accusingly.

"I made out with them," Veronica corrected finally. Maggots crossed her arms, pouted, and stomped a foot in anger. That was when the asylum leader, Emilie, stepped into the kitchen as well. Like Veronica, she had run into Contessa during Contessa's run for more tea.

"I heard we don't have anymore tea," she said to Veronica and Maggots as she entered the kitchen.

"No tea," Maggots confirmed sadly.

"Damnit," Veronica agreed disappointedly.

"And how are we supposed to play the drinking game?" Emilie asked with a frown. Everyone knew that half of the asylum's tea wasn't even tea, but rather, a mix of whatever alcohol they could find.

"I don't know!" Maggots' voice suddenly became shrill with worry and displeasure. "Contessa said she'd get some tea, but I don't know-"

"Did she say she'd get some tea?" Emilie interrupted Maggots mid-sentence. "Because otherwise, you'll have to go."

"Why me?" Maggots whined. "I cleaned the whole kitchen last night!"

"But did you remember to restock as well?" Veronica added herself into the conversation slyly.

"No, but I cleaned all the-" Maggots began.

"That's why we're out of tea!" Emilie cried, interrupting Maggots again. "It's your fau-" but before she could finish placing the blame upon the orange-haired inmate, said inmate had bolted right out of the kitchen and after where Contessa had long-since vanished.

10 minutes later, while Veronica and Emilie remained in the kitchen, Contessa and Maggots finally returned with a warm, fresh pot of tea. Aprella came too. So the old quintet was together again, enjoying a late-evening tea since Maggots had forgotten to set the usual 4:00 pot. Maggots obliged to pour every girl a cup of tea before taking a large swig of her own... right out of the spout of the teapot. She tipped the pot back and sucked on the spout nosily. Emilie watched her chug the drink in exasperation.

"Maggots," she sighed and Maggots grinned as she lowered the now-half-empty teapot from her face. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother!"

"Well, the asylum is an equal-opportunity employer, after all," Aprella replied as she continued to watch Maggots stand there, smiling stupidly.

"And, if you're deaf, she can help you out," Contessa came to her wife's defense. "She can speak in sign language!"

"Really?" Emilie was genuinely surprised to hear this, but both Contessa and Maggots nodded seriously. "Ok then! Translate this!" Emilie seemed excited, but she paused, unable to think of anything good to give to Maggots.

"Well?" Maggots and Contessa both asked when Emilie didn't say anything more.

"I'm just trying to think of something that's not horribly cruel, something about Veronica," she admitted and while Aprella, Maggots and Contessa all laughed, Veronica pretended to huff and pout.

"Meanie!" she whined.

"You'll be fine," Emilie replied dismissively. Veronica pretended to turn to Aprella, Maggots and Contessa.

"We have a love-hate relationship," she said. "I love her, and she-"

"I hate you," Emilie finished, but the smile upon her face said otherwise. Veronica only pretended to huff again before taking a big swig of her tea.

"Ooooh! Wait! I have an idea!" Aprella cried, then she turned to the orange-haired pirate captain. "Maggots, can you demonstrate, in sign-language, what Veronica looks like?" she asked, and Maggots nodded. At once, Maggots grabbed her breasts, pretending to push them up, then she grabbed her buttocks, shaking them seductively at Aprella and the others. They all burst out laughing and even Veronica, though she tried to get offended, couldn't help but agree with Maggots' "sign language" description of her.

"I don't think that was official, legal sign language," funny as the joke was, though, Aprella seemed mildly disappointed to find out that Maggots knowing sign language had not been true.

"Well, she did her best," Contessa replied. Though she saw where Aprella was coming from, Contessa still did not hesitate to defend her wife's honor. After all, Maggots did the same thing all the time, wielding her pirate cutlass against anyone, inmate or not, who tried to insult or hurt her.

"Yeah," Emilie agreed. "We don't like to call Maggots 'different' so much as she is 'special', you know?" she asked. "And that's alright because we are all special! For example, Contessa is a cannibal, and an arsonist, but that's alright because we're all different!"

"DIFFERENT!" Maggots agreed eagerly, totally accepting of Contessa's cannibalistic nature and history of arson. Though both problems still existed, Contessa had sworn not to eat any of her fellow inmates and nor would she set them, or anything else in the place, on fire. So far, she'd made good on those vows, though there were a few times when she would get too nibbly while kissing Maggots, but hey, no one was perfect.

"And Maggots," Emilie turned to Maggots, who was finally using her own teacup instead of drinking out of the pot. "She's a drunkard!"

"Pffft!" was all Maggots had to say about that, spitting out some of her tea as she tried to protest. But then she remembered that it was true and she nodded and smiled, some tea dripping down her chin from her little spit take.

"But that's ok!" Emilie promised. "Because we are all different!" then she took a sip of her own tea. "Whoa," she muttered. Though she had already known that this tea was going to be spiked, it still didn't stop her from getting such a strong taste of alcohol. It tasted like straight up whisky! Though, she supposed, that was what happened when you forced the drunkard to go get the tea.

"And Aprella!" Emilie turned to the blond herself, shaking off the sharp taste from the tea. "Aprella, you are broken beyond all repair!" she declared and Aprella, like Maggots, agreed with her assessment from Emilie. "Not that it stops me from trying, though," Emilie promised her and Aprella smiled at her, walking over to kiss her sweetly.

"What if I told you I break myself on purpose?" she purred as she kissed Emilie again.

"Every night? I'm not surprised," Emilie teased back, but before Aprella could kiss her again, Emilie moved onto the next "special" inmate in their little circle of friends. This time, it was Veronica.

"And Veronica? She's not a whore!" Emilie began, but she was cut off by everyone, Veronica included, bellowing with laughter. Saying Veronica wasn't a whore was like saying the sun wasn't hot, or that tea wasn't the best drink on earth or that Maggots wasn't a pirate captain. Not only was such a phrase incredibly untrue, but it was also hilariously so, made comedic by the sheer incorrectness of it all.

"No, no, listen!" Emilie tried to silence her friends. "She's just really, really, really, really, friendly. But that's ok, because we're all different!"

"But what about you, Emilie?" Aprella asked once she finally stopped laughing about Veronica's "specialness". "What's special about you?"

"And I?" Emilie asked in response. "I am just one weird, mad girl who loves her misery," she raised her cup as she said this and the others copied the movement before taking a large gulp of whatever was in their cup. It burned pleasurably on the way down, an aftertaste of herbs lingering in their mouths as they drank.

"First one to get drunk's gonna walk the plank!" Maggots challenged as she returned to the kitchen with another giant pot of tea.

"Well then that's gonna be you, Maggots," Veronica snickered. "You may drink more than any of the rest of us, but you're still a total lightweight!"

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Maggots demanded, though it was true. For one who drank all the time, Maggots had a rather low tolerance, but that wouldn't stop her from trying. Instead, she poured herself another cup and passed the teapot around. The drinking game had begun!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is a written-out form of the "We're All Different" skit that precedes "Misery Loves Company". In particular, it was based off the 
> 
> "No more tea D=" version of the skit on Youtube, though there are a few others floating around out there.
> 
> Also, sidenote about the plot, this is "Stage Canon". 
> 
> Also, some background: In this fic, Emilie has since retaken the asylum from the doctors and is its new leader. As such, the girls have much more freedom to come and go at will and they have remodeled everything to better fit their needs. In this particular fic, they're in the asylum kitchens and lounging around, stuffing themselves because they can.
> 
> And the plot is pretty clear: It's just some asylum fluff between the five friends. (They're my favorite set of Crumpets, in case you haven't realized yet, LOL).


End file.
